Why We Don’t Have Sex

Recently a friend admitted to our group of friends that her husband never wants to have sex with her. She said they might have sex only once or twice a year. She was obviously very upset and wanted to know if this was normal and if there was something wrong with her. My heart broke for her, and it got me wondering how many women are stuck in a sexless marriage? Movies and media seem to portray women always turning down men, but after trolling the internet and women’s chat rooms, it is more common than talked about. So that begs the question, why don’t some husbands/partners not wanting to have sex with their significate other?
Sex is an important part of any relationship when it is not happening it needs to be addressed immediately if not the feelings of being undesirable, unloved, and unfulfilled to lead to so many other problems.
First and most importantly have a conversation with your partner. This should be done when you are calm and in a non-confrontational mood. Ask the hard questions, listen patiently and try to be as understanding as possible. Be prepared for the answers you may get as hard as they may be to swallow but don’t panic. There could be several reasons your partner is sexually uninterested, low testosterone, depression, work or financial stressors and anxiety. Other reasons that may be painful to hear are porn addiction and his involvement in an emotional or physical affair.
Once your partner shares what the issue(s) maybe it is time to come up with a plan. No matter how hurtful it may be it is important that you work together on a solution. He may need to seek a doctor for medical issues. Going to a counselor for either individual and couples counseling is highly recommended.
Bottom line if your husband cannot share what the problem is, there is little hope that the issue can be resolved. Time, trust, professional help and patience you can try to get your sexual relationship back on track.

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