It happens to all of us: job stress, relationship issues, low self-esteem, kids, etc. It is no wonder women’s sexual desire is down. Unfortunately, we don’t have a magical pill to get us in the mood. Women’s sexual issues are NOT all in our heads, women unlike men, tend to suffer from both mental and physical problems that cause their desire to wane.
What can a woman do to find her missing sex drive? NYU Professor Virginia Sadock, MD, recommends the following ideas for women where physical issues are not the cause:
- If there are problems, even small ones, in your relationship fix them! Little issues can build into big issues over time which can lead to resentment. The last thing any of us want to do is be with someone we feel resentful towards. Open dialogue with your partner, without playing the blame game, can build back trust and intimacy into your relationship.
- Spend quality alone time together! So many times, kids and work issues leave us little time for our partners. There is nothing sexier than a good conversation and laughs with your partner. Leave the kids and life’s issues on the back burning and focus on the relationship. Sparking a connection with your partner again can also spark that sexual flame.
- Perk up your self-esteem! Buy lingerie that makes you feel sexy. Get a spa treatment; try a new workout; whatever your indulgence is, focus on the most important person; you! Just because you see all the “bulges and bumps,” does mean your partner does. Be confident in the sexy woman you are.
- Finally invite a stranger into the bedroom, well not literally! Envision yourself with your favorite movie star, an old flame or even a stranger. It’s about bringing back your sexual excitement and desire not wanting another. See if these fantasies help spur on your desire.
Losing your sexual desire is nothing to be ashamed of at all. It is a real problem for some women but understanding the underlying causes whether mental or physical can help you turn your sexual desire back on and why shouldn’t you, you deserve it!